Anger — from everything, from inside me. All anger is directed at other people, but it obviously comes from within me. Where does it come from? Why do I get angry? What even is this? What is anger about? I get angry at people who project onto others. I get angry when I hear irresponsible talk, or patterns of their position. But it is their own life. Why am I angry? Because they spent my money and didn’t give it back? Possible — but I don’t think it’s about them. Maybe I chose this. And I didn’t notice that it was my choice. It is fucking my doing, my behavior, my decision. Conscious or unconscious — I did it. Mine.

Then why? Because I simply believe people are like me. Just like me. And who am I? Six years ago, maybe the same as now — living by sensual desires. Safety, softness, feeling was everything. Belief. Everything would go smoothly. Someone borrows my money, they will return it responsibly — as I would. But that is my belief. My fucking belief.

And anger is the same. Everyone must speak softly, manage emotion, try to find a better way. But no. Fucking no. Every fucking person is not the same as my belief. So I receive the karma of my belief.

Why do I believe this? I don’t know. Fucking — because of my emotional wiring? Because of my mother’s endless giving, which made me this way? I am not a fighter, but I have anger. Because being a fighter means things become irreversible. But my ears — sound — my ears are wide open. And they want good sound. But people’s sound is terrible. Their speaking. At this point — do people speak the way I want? Because I want to hear a soft voice? Hey. Wake up. Nobody has to do that. It is their freedom.

So within this framework — this perspective — I need to train my fucking hearing system, my seeing system, my eating, my thinking. Every energetic influence, every secondary brain reaction — it is mine. Circumstance can be anything. But the only fucking thing I need to practice and master is my secondary brain reaction and my ability to focus on what is real. Fucking real. Not fucking trash. What is real.