Enough. Let’s walk. Walking is better. Chaos itself.

My chaos. My chaos. My chaos — carefully, tenderly made by my own hands. My chaos, soon to disappear.

Eternal forgiveness.

6:17 pm. My eyes became eyes of anger. Eyes of separation. My ears became ears of anger — seeds of rage. All of these senses bloomed from within me. Nothing outside. Nothing outside. No external thing, no external force holds the reason. Every seed of fire, every ash — it is mine. Built by me. Accumulated by me.

Rather than burning all this fuel at once — let it burn slowly, as the smallest of embers, continuously, releasing as it goes. I forgive myself — the one who could not see within and projected outward. May my quietly burning fire always exist. May I tend it. Guard it. Let it burn slowly. May I be able to hold my anger, my rage — and carry it with grace.

I repent, holding the entire universe within. Until everything burns — I allow anger its eternal, self-consuming flame.

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The fire I created myself — I searched for its cause outside. But the cause was always mine. The anger, built by me. Rather than burning it all at once and projecting it outward in foolish sin — I let it burn slowly. Little by little. Like a small, steady ember, always alight. And by this — I allow all anger to burn, until every last flame has run its course.

Regardless of circumstance — everything about a person is determined by the intention and ability to focus and flow. When the environment is full of forces that scatter the mind, know that the only power to decide is within. Burn it. Let it fly. Let it fuel the inner flame — brighter, larger, wider. Under conviction, overcome the countless conflicts, the anger, the sins. Know that a great light and purpose will naturally rise from within to lead the way out. Open the heart. Burn your own tears as fuel. And let the fire of your own self — burn as it will, flow as it will.

All anger is within me. Let me be made one — within the will of God.

One thing. Do only one thing — the most important one. Focus on only one thing.

For work — big choice, big bias. For life — little balance, little bias.

Intention and passion are cyclic. Cyclic energy. Be careful of passion and the cycle. What you eat deeply affects the cycle — passion and intention.

Think big. Big. Bigger and bigger.

Focus and flow is the power.

Narrow 100 things down to one. Do only the most important one.

Focus and flow. How can we reach the flow state? How can I reach it. Without purpose. Could I? Continuously — without purpose.

In a belief, we notice — in our mind. Something drives within us, regardless — the whole world, in this world.

Highly focused. In flow. Within greatness. Moving by conviction — not by thought, not by purpose. Just this. Just moving. Just being. As the tree grows. As the wind blows. As the sun shines.

Personal practice — Zen and the empty mind — chooses the middle way, neutrality. But greatness, and its bias, and the pull of its direction — seen from the whole, that too is the middle way. That too is neutral. And so — it is also truth.

Unleash, Liberate, Way

Tremendous greatness. Greatness. Greatness. Tiny greatness. A great movement. A great feeling. Great. Living this lifetime as greatness, greatly, within greatness, continuing through greatness. A greatness that serves as a bridge. Greatness. It can shake. It can turn back. It can be restored. Nothing may go as I think. It can reach zero. It can go there. But — greatness. Simply walking one path called greatness, realizing it as greatness, becoming it, living it — quietly, alone, without stopping. This is like a tree stretching its branches upward. Like the wind blowing. Like the sun shining. So — by this greatness, be great through greatness.

8:45 pm. There is a deeply rooted standard of how people should be — and this is the cause of my deep, unconscious anger. I must deal with this. I must….

Just — people are different. And they can live any type of life they want. Conscious or unconscious. In this lifetime.

Whoever is born on this earth.

Forgive all of humanity. And myself. The whole of it.

Sincerely hope.

where am i? “H”
what does “H” mean?
“H” is the letter written at the center of my laptop keyboard — the one I’m looking down at.

What I focus on is the only thing that exists — for me.
But does reality exist even without my attention?
Yes.
But only what I perceive exists in my world. And isn’t my world made entirely of my perception?
Yes.
Then can I ever know a world outside my perception?
No.
Then my premise holds.

In my world — only what I perceive exists. Outside my world — I cannot know. The question “does everything exist?” cannot be answered by me. I only know what I focus on. The rest is beyond my reach.

So — where am i? Here. At “H.” This key. This moment. This is my world. Nothing else exists right now. Only this.

What is I. It is ego. The subject of perception. But who perceives the ego? Another I? Then who perceives that I?

There is no end.

Or —

There is no I at all. Only perception, perceiving itself.

Perception perceiving perception.

No perceiver. No perceived. Only perceiving.


Conclusion:

Where my attention, intention, and focus meet — that is where I am.

And without them —
I disappear too.

If I disappear —
what remains?

Nothing of me.
Everything else.

2:38 pm. The office air is cold. I’m wearing a short-sleeved work shirt. No particular goal, no particular thought — just sitting. Just sitting.

Eyes closed, I hear the white noise of the city outside. Inhale — and before I even notice, exhale. No sense of obligation. No particular relationship. Just sitting. Just.

In this disappearance — the disappearance of thought, the disappearance of everything — can I light a small, intentional fire? If I were to light one, what tiny flame could it be? With no observer, no observing self — can I place something like what she called “juice” into this space? Can I place it for no reason at all? What would I place?

The heat of the sun. Warm and hot and excessive — that thermal energy. Yes. That.

The thing I’ve been able to feel most effortlessly recently: early morning, a small room, an open window, around 9am — the sun just risen, giving that warm and burning heat. That energy. Let me plant that. Eyes open or closed — plant it. Always, plant it. Energy that transcends everything.

Will it work. I’ll probably forget in 10 seconds. I’ll probably forget. I’ll lose it. Soon. As always. I don’t want to forget that burning sun. But I probably will.

1:06 pm. Ate lunch. Some rice. Pickled radish. Duck meat. A $6 lunch box from a catering company. After eating — full. My stomach round and tight, swollen. Full.

Something I’ve noticed quietly: eating processed food brings an aftereffect. Feels like it lasts 24 hours. The opposite is also true — green vegetables, seasoned greens — that energy also seems to last 24 hours. What we eat might be the most influential thing we do. And yet we leave that decision to the environment. We don’t intend it. Maybe that’s just me.

What we eat. Intention. Then where does that will and intention come from? From inside. Internal. What determines the internal? Emotion. Feeling. With repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition. Why is emotional feeling. How does it move. What is the result. Repetition of feeling — about freedom, relationship, the responsibility of leading. Connecting.

Internal is not a one-way ticket. It is also shaped by the environment — receiving, forming a relationship of influence.

Can it be forcibly injected? Perhaps. And if so — the synergy between forced input and intention. Which means a single small spark can form infinite interconnections, amplifying into something much larger.