Category: Raw brain

Receive the karma you have built, as it is. And do not cling to it. This is ancient Asian teaching. — read more

I started this with the goal of writing 1000 pieces — but I may stop at around 12, just like everything else I’ve done until now. Crisis. Being in crisis. Defending. Inside. Speak. What makes me speak? Because when I speak, my brain feels a dynamic dopaminergic cyclic system. Why — maybe relationship. Reacting with… — read more

Fucking sensual desire — dead. Sensual desire, dead. If sensual desire disappears, sense remains present — it never disappears, because it is always in the world. But desire is always inside. Inside ourselves. If we could be free from sensual desire — then what? What happens? Nothing happens? — read more

What I speak, what I think, what I say, what I feel — all separated. Sometimes. My old bad habits, like games or watching porn, are among the few moments where all focus comes together. But there is one thing that is never together: intention, consciousness, a unified mind. Can I always feel this? How… — read more

Sensual desires. I first heard this word from Master Shi Heng Yi of the European Shaolin Temple. But I feel that sensual desires live in my unconscious mind. They control me. And I also see — without needing to convince myself — that others are the same. At this point, I am not sure how… — read more

First pattern: carried along by yesterday’s pattern. What is that pattern? Go to work. Work driven by sensual desire. Speak without noticing. Think whatever pops up — games, other people’s SNS, shorts. Some words spoken from sensual desire too — wanting warmth, wanting to be accepted by others, maybe. Come back home. Just sit. Time… — read more

Pattern. The first thing is to notice all my patterns — perfectly. All of them. But what for? From what perspective does it matter? I don’t understand yet. But I will know when I see them all. Myself. Maybe. So for now, just scan: yesterday’s pattern, thought pattern, feeling pattern, talking pattern, moving pattern. Do… — read more

It is not necessary to close your eyes or take a deep breath. Inside my head, inside my sternum — it feels twisted. Others around me have no influence on me; they simply move, like falling leaves, like new buds breaking through. What influences me is the pattern within me. My pattern. The pattern of… — read more

Selfish — when I lose control of myself, projection just begins. And it never stops. Control and focus must stay on myself; if not, I mess up, I fuck up my circumstance, and I become filled with what Steve Jobs called the unimportant things. Now, I end this fight. Focus, focus, focus — into myself.… — read more

Thoughts against circumstance naturally pop up — they are deeply biased. The anger within me is projected outward, only to return to me. Where does it come from? It seems to come from the fixed notion that humans must exist in a certain form. Yet it is impossible for that premise to hold — people… — read more